Running with a Spoonful in Life's Gallery

I'm not even sure if the title is grammatically correct. But it quite aptly summarises the main themes of my life in recent times.

It is actually, shall i say, 'inspired by' "The Alchemist" by Paul Coelho. In the book, Melchizedek told a story where a boy was sent out to walk about a castle while holding a spoon full of oil. He was warned not to spill a drop of oil from the spoon. The boy was so paranoid about fspilling the oil that he never saw the beauty of the castle or its riches. The boy was then sent out again with the spoon of oil and told to pay attention to what is around him. This time he got so caught up in the beauty and riches that he forgot about the oil, and it spilled. The secret to life, according to Melchizedek, or the story (or Paul, depending on which world you prefer to live in) is that the secret of happiness is to see all the marvels of the world, and never to forget the drops of oil on the spoon.

And that leads to the three themes of my life now.

I've pretty much made up my mind to live life like everyday's the last and to squeeze all the goodness (and also all the nasty parts) out of life as much as I can. If my life were a painting, I've basically put down my brush and started sloshing buckets of dulux all over the canvas. If my life were a supermarket, I'm eagerly trying to enter the electronics and fresh food sections at the same time. I enjoy the feeling of aliveness and pursuing things that are meaningful to me. I enjoy running (only figuratively!!) - the freedom of exerting oneself fully coupled with the strain of sheer abandonment. It's akin to living on a fine edge. I dunno how I manage to somehow survive each day, but i usually end each one feeling really zonked out but strangely exhilarated.

But there are many moments worth slowing down for in life. There's been many occasions when I was so preoccupied with sprinting that I constantly have half of myself plunged into the future, and less of me left in the present. And I never failed to regret, each and every time, that I did not savour these moments for all they were worth. My life's gallery has accumulated a sizeable collection of pieces that are blurred and hazy. You know, the kind of photos you kick yrself for messing up as you'll never be able to quite construct the moment that you were trying to capture from the incoherent pixels? I have decided that, where it counts, I'll make really good imprints henceforth. It will be a gallery worth visiting time and time again.

And then there are responsibilities. There are things that you just have to do, people whose interests you have to take care of, promises you have to keep and many more. There are times when I feel like just neglecting all of them. It is certainly alot easier to run and appreciate the scenery with less baggage! Even a spoonful of oil can be really challenging to hold in one's fingers.

So this will be what 2009 is about. I will run. I'll run with all that my lungs, sinews and flesh can let me. I'll be present. I'll allow myself to be fully absorbed in the now when it matters, and take in all the smells, the sights, the sounds, the emotions, with all the eagerness that the depths of my soul yearns for. And I'll guard the oil. Not one drop of oil will drip from the spoon that I hold.